Michael Moore Greets The Common Folk

Calling restaurant delivery "an inalienable right" for New Yorkers, the Times tackles that very topic today with a series of hard-hitting exposÚs meant to shed some light on the to-your-door phenomenon.

First there's Eric Asimov's historical take on the rise of delivery service over the past two decades, a surging trend he ties to the density of Manhattan's population and the increase of women entering the workforce. Those explanations are all fine and dandy, but what about the obvious ones: massive generational laziness and our stubborn demand for constant deliciousness?

There's also advice from delivery guys about how to make them happy (surprise surprise - a nice tip goes a long way toward turning that frown upside down) but we were most looking forward to clicking on the list of New York's best delivery options, broken down into 10 neighborhoods.

We're homers so we immediately looked for the Lower East Side, only to be disappointed by the nabe being lumped into the East Village and only represented by Moby's overpriced tea shop. So as a service to you, loyal reader, here are ToTC's suggestions for the best non-pizza non-burrito non-Chinese food Lower East Side delivery options, aka our attempt to make this post completely irrelevant to those who live more than four blocks away from us:

Tiny's Giant Sandwich Shop. Why pay $8 for Moby's teeny goods when you can pay the same amount for a sandwich that's twice as big. Tiny's dubious success rate at actually getting your order correct means that opening each sandwich is like unwrapping presents on Christmas morning. You never know what you're going to get and your eyes light up if it's exactly what you wanted. Especially fun for the kids.

TOC. We love Thai on Clinton, and it's not because of the name. Okay, not only because of the name. Great Thai food at affordable prices, a rarity for Clinton Street.

Teresa's. Not really on the Lower East Side but they deliver so fast they might as well be. We shit you not when we tell you that not only does Teresa's want to deliver delicious breakfast right up to your fifth floor walk-up, but they also want to charge you practically nothing to do it. $4.75 banana pancakes? Yes please.

Hoomoos Asli. Again, not really on the Lower East Side (wow, this is kinda hard, sorry Times), but half of ToTC's fathers are Israeli so we gotta represent. The fries get a little soggy by the time they reach you (what fries don't?) but the no-frills-yet-extremely-tasty $4 falafel sandwich will make you forget that pretty easily.

Don't forget to tune in next week, when we'll tell you the top four places to spot a bloated member of Interpol.