Warning: Pink Makes Us Purple

A little over a month ago, American Apparel made somewhat of a splash when they announced they'd be selling pink men's underwear -- an item we immediately dubbed "dinky pinkies" at ToTC/NY headquarters because tighty whities would obviously be a misnomer.

But a funny thing happened on the way toward making guys' packagewrap adorable: you could never actually find a pair. Now, to spare you any unwanted mental imagery, we're not saying that I was looking for the damn things. Let's just say that "people" had a hard time finding them in the American Apparel stores on Orchard Street and Broadway. So what gives?

Before we can let AA founder Dov Charney chime in with an explanation (his handshakes are awfully sticky), a near-and-dear ToTC correspondent decided to do a little reporting. She asked an AA store employee about the dinky pinkies, and the sales associate informed her that the item was designed "without thinking about how a penis would fit inside them." They were sold in stores for about a week, but after numerous complaints the product got recalled because they were "too tight in the front." However, they're expecting to get the undies back in stores after a redesign.

Devious, innitt? They get us to question our manhood for desiring a pair, then they try to muscle out the Muscle when you finally accept the consequences and pull them up. Insult to injury.

Michael Moore Greets The Common Folk

Chicken Soup for the Celebrity Obsessed Soul

LA is chock-a-block full of celebrities. You can find them at the hottest clubs (if you can get in) and even sometimes, doing regular people things like driving or eating (albeit in a nicer car than you and at a restaurant that doesn't serve your kind). So living in this city sometimes referred to as "Hollyweird" what would be a more appropriate guide to follow than Immoderation's Everything I need to know in life, I learned from celebrities. As we like to do, we've posted a few of our favorites below (a few meaning almost all of them):

Tom and Katie: Age ain't nothin' but a number. And reality's just a PR stunt away.

Jake Gyllenhall and Kirsten Dunst: Love is Blind

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie: Adultry is acceptable if and only if those cheating are devastatingly attractive, in which case it is not only acceptable, but encouraged.

Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown: If you're going crazy, it's always nice to have someone to come with you.

Jessica Simpson: As long as people think you're mildly retarded, it's ok to whore around. Mild retardation = innocence & purity.

Nicole Richie: People may like you when you're funny, but they will LOVE you when you're thin.

Britney Spears: Ever just want to give up completely? Just get pregnant. Greatest excuse EVER for getting fat. After all, you're eating for two.

Gary Coleman: There is NO SHAME in doing bankruptcy commercials, especially after losing the guvernatorial race to the Terminator.

Why try to be clever when we can just let someone else do it for us?